IT TAKES STRENGTH TO ADMIT VULNERABILITY

People mistakenly believe that they’ll never be taken seriously if they admit a weakness or fear or that they’ll never make a sale if they acknowledge their uncertainty. No one wants to be considered weak, and rightly so. People who are weak are ineffective, conflict-avoidant, and uninspiring. This is very different from being vulnerable. To highlight the differences, look at the following chart:

At times, a fine line exists between soft and vulnerable. You may have a soft leader who is everyone’s friend, who is a nice guy, who never gets mad and hates when others become angry at each other. A vulnerable leader may also be an extremely nice individual, but his niceness doesn’t get in the way of him making tough decisions or holding others accountable. When you’re vulnerable, you may seem soft on the outside, but when necessary you can be tough as nails.

Transparency is a good trait to use as a differentiator, since people who are soft are usually afraid to communicate with utmost honesty about themselves and others. They worry about the repercussions of being straightforward about their beliefs. When you’re transparent, it prevents others from thinking you have hidden agendas. When you ask someone to do something, you have no ulterior political motives. What you say is what you mean.

When you communicate transparently, you encourage others to respond in the same manner. This bolsters business relationships in many ways, creating a bond of trust that helps people deal with all sorts of calamities and crises. You’ll recall my earlier comment that relationships aren’t built, but rebuilt. Transparency greatly assists the rebuilding process.

When I talk to people about transparent communication, sometimes they get the wrong idea, believing that they can speak their mind without any editing. That “hard” stance can, however, be just as detrimental to a relationship as a soft one. There are bosses and customers who are brutal with their honesty. They tend to say things like, “Jenny, you will never go higher than mid-level management because you simply are not a natural born leader.”

Being candid is good; being tactless and rude is bad. Transparency fosters results-producing relationships when you use discretion. Think situationally. If your boss is on edge, it may be unwise to unload on him about your difficulties dealing with a client, at least at that time. What you want to aim for is being as transparent as a given situation and common sense allows you to be.

Kathryn walked into a prospective client’s office with low expectations of winning. In her mind, she knew the chance of her small marketing firm getting the nod for such a lucrative contract over her bigger, more established competitors was low.

When the Senior Vice President greeted her, Kathryn was pleasant but her enthusiasm and confidence level could be aptly described as “low voltage.” The meeting wasn’t terrible, but Kathryn was correct, it wasn’t going to win her firm a rain-making contract. And it didn’t. Poor Kathryn.

Question: What do the weather and how old you are have in common?
Answer: You have no control over either.

Question: What are some things you CAN control?
Answer: How you choose to influence others when first greeting them. If you apply this with passion and consistency, your business results because you’ve se the right ton..

Make great first impressions: Sounds academic, but start paying attention to how people greet you. Do they smile at you? Do they convey warmth and enthusiasm? Do they ask questions and show interest in you? ABC in sales means “Always Be Closing.” Bunk! Try ABO: “Always be opening.” This is what sets the tone for profitable relationships.

Winning Behavior: Smile, firm friendly handshake, direct and pleasant eye contact. Motivational pioneer, Earl Nightingale said, “Treat every person you meet like he or she is the most important person on earth, because to that person they are.” Right on Earl.

The awareness of others’ need to feel significant should be reflected by you greeting them as such on a highly consistent basis. Great leaders and successful business people make positively influencing those around them a lifestyle habit.