IT TAKES STRENGTH TO ADMIT VULNERABILITY

People mistakenly believe that they’ll never be taken seriously if they admit a weakness or fear or that they’ll never make a sale if they acknowledge their uncertainty. No one wants to be considered weak, and rightly so. People who are weak are ineffective, conflict-avoidant, and uninspiring. This is very different from being vulnerable. To highlight the differences, look at the following chart:

At times, a fine line exists between soft and vulnerable. You may have a soft leader who is everyone’s friend, who is a nice guy, who never gets mad and hates when others become angry at each other. A vulnerable leader may also be an extremely nice individual, but his niceness doesn’t get in the way of him making tough decisions or holding others accountable. When you’re vulnerable, you may seem soft on the outside, but when necessary you can be tough as nails.

Transparency is a good trait to use as a differentiator, since people who are soft are usually afraid to communicate with utmost honesty about themselves and others. They worry about the repercussions of being straightforward about their beliefs. When you’re transparent, it prevents others from thinking you have hidden agendas. When you ask someone to do something, you have no ulterior political motives. What you say is what you mean.

When you communicate transparently, you encourage others to respond in the same manner. This bolsters business relationships in many ways, creating a bond of trust that helps people deal with all sorts of calamities and crises. You’ll recall my earlier comment that relationships aren’t built, but rebuilt. Transparency greatly assists the rebuilding process.

When I talk to people about transparent communication, sometimes they get the wrong idea, believing that they can speak their mind without any editing. That “hard” stance can, however, be just as detrimental to a relationship as a soft one. There are bosses and customers who are brutal with their honesty. They tend to say things like, “Jenny, you will never go higher than mid-level management because you simply are not a natural born leader.”

Being candid is good; being tactless and rude is bad. Transparency fosters results-producing relationships when you use discretion. Think situationally. If your boss is on edge, it may be unwise to unload on him about your difficulties dealing with a client, at least at that time. What you want to aim for is being as transparent as a given situation and common sense allows you to be.

3 tools for effective mentoring and improving workplace performance:

• “Take their order”
• “Make them do it”
• “Create joint accountability”